5. Brody Jenner- My god what a pussy. Girls like this dude? Total liability for any hot chick. I can just picture all of the obscenities drunken dudes yell to the girl he’s with in a public venue, and he just acts like he doesn’t hear anything. Brody Jenner is not good for you ladies. He carries the DNA of his freaky looking father, so believe me it’s not worth it for you ladies to risk having a child that looks like Bruce Jenner.

4. Brett Favre– Cry me a fucking river Brett. Stop pimping your 10 year-old daughter for sympathy, only a shit-head would do that. This guy throws costly picks like he put a mill on the other team.

3. Spencer Pratt- You already know how I feel about Spencer.

2. Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (Glen Beck, Sean Hannity, Bill O’Reilly, Rush Limbaugh)- Fuck these guys. Rush Limbaugh wanted Barack Obama to fail just to prove a point that voting for him was a bad idea. Of course pig-gaze wouldn’t be affected by a failed presidency because he makes millions for buffoonish gab.

Bill O’Reilly has an agenda to discredit every fact known to man, Sean Hannity is a predictable right-wing freak, and Glen Beck is a crazy motherfucker who is scared of rationale.

Does this mean I have a liberal bias for picking on these conservatives? Not necessarily, these guys are just a little bit more open about their ignorance, which makes them an easy target.

1. Ben Roethlisberger- You know this slob just whips his dick out in front of girls whenever he strategically traps them in a corner. Either one of three things happen; they suck it because he’s a famous quarterback, they try to get away and he pants ‘no, no, it’s okay’ and the girl is overcome by drunkenness and starts sucking, or he gets accused of rape.

Do people really buy his apology? Nobody is that stupid right? But it’s not like there’s an incentive for him to be remorseful. Oh, this is the interview that will influence Roger Goodell to drop his 6 game suspension to 4. See he is a shithead.